


All Those Words (You Walk Away)

by SaaviYB



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Aromantic Minhyuk, F/M, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, dancer minhyuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 12:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18180887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaaviYB/pseuds/SaaviYB
Summary: Dim down by the light in the hall,We were dancing in the dark,We danced to nothing at allStumbling, my cold feetOh my knees went weak when you looked at me,But for you, I'm a fool and moreShe was sixteen with stars on her cheeks,Oh every time she smiled they winked at me,If I could find it out to be with you somehow,I know sunshine would be finding meWhen life wears its best,I see us and happiness,If you're gonna love someone,Let it be meIf you're gonna love someone,Let it be meThe Greeting Committee♪the one where minhyuk dances and loves the friends with benefits package but wonho wanted something more.





	All Those Words (You Walk Away)

Our hands touch as we stare into each other's eyes. Our moves mirror precisely as they should, years of practice culminating in to this moment. The beat is quiet, but you can feel the thumping in the very beat of your heart. Our chests press together, his strong one nearly engulfing me. There are words in his eyes, those brown pools catching the last light as it goes out.

The beat drops as we get to our knees and slide away from each other, the light returning and blinding me. Each rhythmic thump are torsos copy, as if our hearts are beating far too hard. As Carlata's melodic voice returns to the stadium, we rise slowly in time with the pulsating song. Our struts are the same as we join the other males in line behind her, arms out in opposing positions. We retract them and reach out again, like a Indian statue, in time with the lyrics.

As she hits the final high notes with her soul-capturing vocals, our arms snake out all the same way. Slowly we raise them up to meet above our heads. The only light left is on Carlata. Backing away, our arms come to our sides again, though we know no one is really paying attention to us anymore.

_If you're gonna love someone  
Let it be me_

Those final notes echo throughout the stadium, and the applause is thunderous. I don't really know Carlata's statistics that well, such as who would be in her crowd, but I can't help but hold back a giggle as I hear both female and male voices chanting her name. Their queen has returned, and they weren't afraid to show it.

Me and the other backup dancers descend the stairs to backstage, some of us high fiving each other. Congratulating ourselves on a successful return as Carlata's backup squad.

My eyes linger on Wonho, walking away from us. He didn't high five me; in fact he ignored me altogether. Instead of listening to all the signs he was clearly giving me, I pranced up to him, grabbing his shoulder. He turns to face me, and I let go of him.

Those questions still burn there in his eyes, those beautiful brown eyes of his. I want to answer them. Intimately.

But the absolute set of a frown has been etched into his Greek god-like statue face, opposing his usual soft or giggly expression. The questions had to be singeing his tongue alive, maybe even the accusations. But the once playful manner of his eyes were gone, replaced with one of scorn. He made a disgusted sound in the back of this throat, like seeing me made his stomach turn. His normally pretty face turned ugly, he opened his mouth to say something. Thinking better of it, he closed it. Without a word to me he turned and walked away, bumping into a stagehand; he didn't even say sorry.

I sighed deeply. Even though Carlata has been in the studio for a little over three years, and even though all of us have been focusing on the routines for her tour, Wonho still hated me for rejecting him.

♪

Carlata needed dancers, and she specifically wanted male dancers. The night before auditions I couldn't sleep, breathing heavy. What if I messed up my audition? Or if I broke something? I sighed. What if I wasn't what she wanted, period; no matter how good I was? Or, worse. What if by the time I got there all the spots she wanted were taken? Instead of worrying about it, I made a glass of water and took a sleeping pill. No sense in not sleeping before a big event.

I nearly missed my alarm and slammed myself through the apartment to make it on time. I had to rush through people in my complex, street, and the subway. I was tapping my foot aggressively against the floor, making some people look at me in quiet disdain. But the anticipation couldn't just stay inside, nor was I going to bottle it up to fuck me over later.

The train came to a halt and I hopped off, pacing up the stairs through strangers who'll forget me later. Through children who ask why I'm running. Through business men who probably think I'm gay. Through people looking down from their windows, thinking about the future I may or may not obtain. Same as me.

I'm running down the street, the address already memorized in my mind, the forefront of all my thoughts. It's been two months since my friend contacted me, and I've had two months to practice my two different routines. The information published by the business men and only available to those privy enough to find it. The flyer specified male backup dancers were needed; only males were allowed to attend, and any females wouldn't be allowed in. ID was also necessary to obtain entry. I had stuffed my ID in my bag days prior, so I wouldn't forget it. But the thought of possibly missing the pocket or even the slim chance I dreamt that event made my stomach churn. What if I didn't have my ID on me?

I read the street signs after I pass Mohae Lane, because after that comes the intersection of Queen Street and Rodeo Drive, where the lot 15514 exists. And that's where the studio was, next to a bakery-slash-cafe. In front of that bakery-slash-cafe is where I pause, the scent of baked goods and coffee to strong to ignore. And just my luck I had to oversleep four minutes so I panicked and didn't eat anything. Not eating was a huge set back; a dancer with a growling stomach was unattractive.

I know I have my phone on me so I check the time. It's not even a full hour before the posted time. But some auditions I've been to have started early, and tardiness is frowned upon. But if I don't eat, I won't be full of energy and my stomach will growl (which I know from personal experience). So do I want to be frowned upon for being late or for being unattractive? I cave in and buy something small with no drink. I brought water for this exact purpose.

I rush into the building, which gave me some bad vibes because the outside looked plain. Which clashed with the fact that inside there may people who danced for a living. But, on the inside the story was different. It was way more colorful, though whoever designed it went for a cool color scheme. A lot of soft greens and medium blues; but it was overall very welcoming. Much more so than the outside.

“Hello! Are you here for the auditions?” A voice asks.

I turn left and see a reception desk nestled in the corner, a somewhat goth girl smiling broadly at me. Her black lipstick has smudged on her teeth. “Yes, hello! That's what I'm here for.” I give my best smile. Even though I've been in America for ten years I feel my English hasn't improved at all.

“Oh good! Do you have your ID with you?” She asks. She could beat me in a pep contest.

“Yeah, hold on,” I tell her immediately dropping my bag. I dig through the side pocket and pull out an ID that has seen better days. I hand it out to her. “Here you go.”

She takes it, her long black nails tapping my natural ones. “Also, can you remove your hat? Company rules. I also need to take a photo of you.” She was staring down her computer as she typed relatively fast, despite her long fake nails.

“Oh? Why?” I ask, taking off my hat. My blonde hair has to be a mess so I try to tame the wild locks.

“A recent photo for proof of matching ID. Business stuff.”

“Ah okay. Well I do love taking pictures. Can I strike a pose?” I gave her two peace signs.

She gave me a giggle. “Sure, um…” I saw her peeking at my ID. “Edward Lee?”

“That's me!” I said brightly.

“Alright, smile for me,” she said, holding up a very small camera. I did as instructed with my addition of peace signs. After she assumedly snapped a photo of me, she put the camera down and typed some more on her computer. “That is your registration done, if you'll take this…” she hinted as she waited for something to print out. It looked small, like the same size as my ID. She grabbed it and handed it to me along with my ID. “Head to the second floor, and when you get off the second practice room is where you need to be. Don't worry, they're labeled. When you get there, you will need to flash the judges your ID and the one I just gave you. Got that?”

“Yeah I think so. Thank you Miss!” I replied with a wave as I walked away. I headed toward what looked like the elevator, in order to save my legs from the climb up the stairs. I did the stupid thing by running or speed walking all the way here, and half my water bottle was already empty. I really should have set my alarm an hour earlier.

The elevator dinged and I walked off, immediately seeing bouncer-type individuals standing by the door to a room off the right. If that didn't scream “ _professional-level dance audition held here_ ” then nothing did. I walked confidently over, since this was where I was supposed to be and where I wanted to go.

“Hello! This is the dance audition for Carlata, is it not?” I asked brightly.

They didn't have their arms crossed, but they might as well have with how intimidating they are. “Yes. IDs?” The taller one asked.

I flashed him the two IDs I was still holding. He studied them and nodded.

“May we search your bag, Mr. Lee?” The shorter one asked, handing me back my IDs after he looked at them.

I paused, not really sure where this was going. It seemed like the beginning of a porno, which I was not 100% going to turn down. “Um, sure? Why may I ask?” Did I look like a bad guy or was this what they were here for?

“For safety reasons Mr. Lee,” the taller one responded.

I nodded, handing him my bag. I wasn't worried about the contents, just the way they looked. And frankly, smelled.

“Also, you must shut off your phone,” the shorter one stated.

“Ah, no pictures?” I replied, putting two and two together. That made sense; if Carlata was going to be here (I had my fingers crossed, shut up) they didn't want pictures of her leaking. If I got to meet her I was TOTALLY shoving it in Kihyun's face.

“Alright you can go in,” the taller one said as he handed my bag. They both nodded towards me and separated, leaving me to enter the dance practice room.

I shoved my phone in one of the side pockets, since I wasn't going to be needing it. I reached out for the handle and turned it, swinging open the door gently. I didn't want to come off as an asshole narcissist who needed a grand entrance; yet another personal lesson of mine I had to learn the hard way. Be quiet until spoken to. Until you make the squad, then be loud and obnoxious. My typical plan of action.

Just as the girl said there were judges, three of them, sitting at a long table against the mirror. There were only eight other males against the wall to my right, and one of them whom I recognized. Shownu waved at me and I just spit my tongue out at him. That asshole probably woke up three hours ago, worked out for one, took a thirty minutes shower, ate, then arrived here before even necessary. He just shook his head.

“Hello. Please show us your IDs,” one of the judges said. There were two females and one male judge, all of whom I couldn't name. I did as asked. They looked on a computer and nodded; they handed back my IDs without telling me what they were looking at. “Please sit behind that gentleman,” the male judge said, pointing toward the last male in line.

I said my niceties and sat down next to the guy. I was irritated because, if the line went in order, Shownu arrived first and I wanted to punch him. In the dick. With a chair. I leaned forward to look at him, but he was busy chatting the next guy in line. It was always weird to see him talking to a guy, since he was straight. It was hard for me to be friends with him because I just wanted to fuck his brains out, but he's the straightest guy I've ever met. And he threw me for such a loop I've never had the opportunity to flirt with him. So we're oddly best friends, but the shitty part is that he doesn't know I'm gay.

The fucked up part is I wasn't sure if I could share it, now that I'd be in a group full of nothing but men.

♪

By the time the judges were ready to judge us, there were twenty men all ready to make it or break it. I wasn't sure how many they wanted in their final lineup, but some of these men gave off the vibe of a cutthroat bitch ready to do everything to make it. I looked at all of them, even my best friend, like they were the fiercest batch of competitors I could ever meet. If any of us made it to Carlata's squad, we could support ourselves. Some of them had families, I could feel it; and me being single with no dependents meant they had more to fight for. And fight they would, with teeth and nails if it meant they could support the ones they loved. For some reason that made me feel bad for being here. But I, too, had someone to fight for: myself.

“David Son? You're up first,” the male judge said, and one of the females set up a camera behind them.

My eyes went to my best friend, with that large beautifully tanned body he has, as he walked to the center. Shownu always did his best under pressure, and while his face needed some work (I mean that as in his expressions, not his facial structure. His face was beautiful) his dance moves were precise and fitted for him. He never seems to think he's beautiful, or that attractive, but when he dances you'd think he knows he's gorgeous. He uses every skill he's ever amassed and organizes them so spectacularly you'd think he was professionally trained. I only know this because we met at an event similar to this, and I was so dazzled by him I had to get to know him. I was horrified by his straightness that it forced me to act straight around him. But he's my best friend now, so I guess things worked out in the end.

“Do you have your songs prepared?” The female judge in the middle asked.

“Yes, I do,” Shownu replied as he pulled out a flashdrive from his pocket. He handed it to them, and returned to the center. From what I understood there was only the songs on the flashdrive, so it didn't take long for them to say “begin!”

Once more I was entrapped by Shownu's moves, just like the first time I saw him. He was so fluid in his ups and downs, his twists and turns. He was _confident_ in himself. Every nuance of the song he chose had its own occupied move or set of moves designed especially for it. There were only two months of preparations but it seemed like all he did was practice; there wasn't a single flaw to be had. His feet flew off the floor, stomping in time with the beat. When the song was over and immediately switched to his second choice, it was the same. He was an amazing dancer, whether it'd be for more hip-hop style or ballad style. He was a shoe-in for one of Carlata's squad.

After he finished the judges graded him on his performance (which scared me and made my heart pound) he returned to his spot, and like that, his turn was over. The next guy stood and gave them a CD (old school but admirable), readying himself at the center of the room. He was impressive as well as flexible. But he wasn't as impressive as Shownu (in my opinion). He had to have picked short songs because the demonstration was too short. But he was given a grade like Shownu's, and then before I could blink he was sitting down again. The third guy was up, and after him only five guys were before me. Fabulous.

Soon the called my name, and immediately I felt like I hadn't had enough practice. I felt as if I was in the wrong space in my life. I should've just been happy with my baristo job and not tried to go above and beyond. I stood up, slowly; not wanting to go through with this. The door opened, and we all turned to see a new male walk in. He apologized for being late, that apparently a crash happened on his street and that made his Uber late.

_Oh my knees went weak when you looked at me_

He was ethereal. He looked like he went to the gym, and often. His muscles flexed under his shirt, the black that hugged his chest and arms like a second skin. His soft god-like face held an apologetic expression, only interrupted by his shiny black hair. His ears stood out against his hair, cute like a small child. He wasn't extraordinarily tall, but his legs were _fine_ , jeans taunt against them. His brown eyes were deep, and when his eyes met mine I knew then and there I had to get to know him.

 **Intimately**.

One of the lady judges sharply told him being late was not tolerated, even if it wasn't his fault. She informed him after seeing his IDs he would be going next instead of being last. She meant after me, of course. And that made me pucker certain parts of myself.

Only when the male judge asked if I had my songs prepared did I snap out of my zone and realize that I did not have my flashdrive on me.

♪

“They informed us the ones who would be called back by phone were allowed back. If within a month we were not called back then we could assume we did not make the cut,” I told Kihyun over the phone. My foot was jumping at the news I would get to shove in his face so hard I couldn't wait to tell him.

“The wait is going to suck ass,” Kihyun replied. He sounded horrendously tired and irritated, but that was his fault for working the morning shift.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. Myself and some other dancers decided to stop by the café/bakery next door for some lunch. Most of them had paired off, but I was by myself. Shownu had made fast friends with the guy who was sitting next to him in the auditions, and cutely enough (they were sitting at the table next to me, I wasn't stalking Shownu, shut up) they decided to split the bill.

“Yeah, it will. But, hey, you want to know the best part of my day so far?” My foot jumping got worse, my body knowing Kihyun was gonna throw a fit once he hears what I have to tell him.

He sighed loudly. “What is it?”

“You'll never believe who I saw today!” I blurted louder than necessary.

“Some hot guy you're planning on banging?” My friend responded sassily.

“Well, I mean yeah, but I'll get to that once I get home. I saw the one. The only. Car—”

As the door swung open and Cameron Lee walked in and I paused. Seeing him outside of the dance practice room made him real and not just a figment of my imagination. Damn it wasn't just a trick of the light; he really was ethereally gorgeous. He smiled widely at the lady behind the counter, and began ordering something.

“Hello? Minhyuk? Are you there? Who'd you meet?” Kihyun asked over the phone.

“Yeah, um, I have to go. Remember I'm at the bakery next door okay?” I could hear him saying things like ‘wait, don't hang up’ but I hung up before he could start yelling at me.

I stuff my phone in my pocket as I get out of my seat and head toward the front counter. The only way to get to know someone is to actually go up to them. I'm extroverted, this was easy. “Hey! It's Cameron, right?” I ask as I reach him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

He jumped at me, but chuckled once he saw me. “Um, yeah. You're, uh, Edward right? Edward Lee?”

“Yes, glad I'm rememberable!”

Cameron's smile trapped me. “You are. Your dance and song choices were… not what I expected.” He did this little 'haha’ laugh and it fit him so well.

“I like surprising people. Yours was one hella show,” I replied, making sure to raise my eyebrow suggestively. But I don't think he got my very subtle hint.

“Oh, was it too much?” He asked worriedly.

“Oh, no no no. To be honest I didn't think it was enough.”

“What did you say?” He asked, taking a sip of his four sugars, six creams coffee the barista just handed him.

“I said that _Sexy Back_ was just enough.” I've realized that I can't come on too strong; that's from several lessons in the past.

“Ah, thank goodness. I was worried that the judges thought too much.”

“I am sure you'll make it.”

“Yoo too! Your dance was really suited to you,” he said as we moved away from the counter. “Like you left me wanting more.”

I bit my tongue and just chuckled. I decided I would take that nicely and not in the you-suck-at-this way. “I can always give you more. Privately.” My trap has been set.

He looked at me with an expression I couldn't name in the English language. “Privately? Do you teach?”

“I can teach you.”

“I don't think I need—”

“Hey. You're Cameron right?” Shownu asked. “Do you wanna join us?”

I bit my tongue, but not out of attraction. “Yeah. You're really built, by the way. What's your secret?” Cameron asked, sliding out a chair and asking if he could feel Shownu's muscles.

I stood there and I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. My gaydar was right, and it seems I was right on the dot to a fault. Not only was he gay, and a bottom, but he seems to be into the built men like Shownu. Either that or he knew I'm gay and thought I was a bottom. Which was judging someone by their appearance. I know I just did but I was trying to find a good lay.

I grabbed my stuff and a chair, pulling it up between Shownu and Cameron. “Don't mind me. How are you, Sam?” I asked the other guy at the table.

I sat there, basically trying to be a third wheel in a four-man group. Cameron didn't seem to notice, and Shownu already knew about my clinginess. I adjusted myself to the conversation, easily adapting to the very straight (surprising enough) talk. Sam was a huge sports fanatic who's been trying to lay off the sports because it had been damaging his ability to dance. Shownu shared his backstory, which I already knew, about how his last gig finally died. I piped in about how we met, just to be a friendly person. For a man who isn't gay, he sure ruins all of my attempts at being so.

Cameron then shared his little backstory. His was what I expected from him: he's from Korea (which me and Shownu freaked over; turns out his Korean name is Wonho) who came to this little (well, large) town to become a star. Very typical of the dancer type. However, it wouldn't surprise me if he made it. He's both good looking and talented: a dream combination for singers who needed backup dancers.

Time flew to the point where Kihyun texted me telling me he's been out there for a few minutes watching me play the field. I texted back I was sorry and would try harder to notice his tiny self. I got a photo of a middle finger in return. I giggled at his tiny outrage.

“What you laughing at?” Wonho asked cutely, peering over.

He was too cute. I had to make sure Shownu didn't fuck this up for me. “Nothing. I have to go; my friend is here to pick me up. It was nice meeting you Wonho; you too Sam!” I laid it on a little thick on purpose. I gathered my stuff as they said bye and I exited the small cafe. I could sense they'd be getting more business if we did all practices in the space next door.

I opened the door and plopped down, and was immediately bombarded with questions. “Who the hell did you meet today? And is that the Asian looking guy you were leaning toward? And the dark skinned guy, is he single?”

I laughed at all three. “Let me tell you about my day, Kihyun—”

“Cute guy three o'clock,” Kihyun said pointing. I turned to see Wonho jogging towards us with something in his hand. I rolled down the window to greet him.

“Hey, what's up?” I said to Wonho as he jogged up to the car.

“You dropped your phone!” He handed out the phone, which now had a spiderweb crack across the front. I took it with a dissatisfied face. “Oh, man… Thanks, Wonho.”

He nodded and headed back into the cafe. I didn't didn't get to see his backside as I was still to worried about the crack I made with my stupidity. It reminded me of my life, in a way: I could still see the screen, but in order to view it all clearly I had to move some obstacles.

“Man, that sucks. Still works right?” Kihyun asked as he drove off.

“Yeah,” I said dishearteningly. But I perked up over the news I still hadn't shared. “BUT guess who I met today!”

Kihyun sighed. “Aside from Mr. Muscle, who could that be?”

“Kihyun, we'll always be friends right?” I said, making the wait super suspenseful.

“Not if you don't tell me the news. Who the hell did you meet?” I could tell he was getting irritated.

“I met your idol, Kihyun. I met _her_.”

Kihyun slammed on the brakes. “YOU MET CARLATA HERSELF?!”

♪

I slammed my head onto the table, trying to feel pain rather than the tears threatening to cloud my vision. I could hear and register what Kihyun was saying but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to admit what I'd done wrong.

“Minhyuk… Goddamn it Minhyuk. You had _one fucking job_ in both the most literal and metaphorical sense and you STILL fuck yourself over. What are you going to do now?” Kihyun asked, arms crossed as he leaned against the kitchen counter. The bill in his hands was folded neatly but it held all the accusatory statements against me.

I fucked up. I fucked up badly this time, and Kihyun wasn't going to cover me this time. He couldn't. Even if he could… actually, I knew he would if he could. He was that kind of friend. But what kind of friend have I been? Since we got here I've been more of a burden to him. Together we promised we'd help each other achieve our individual dreams. Kihyun gave up on his voice, but I chose to stick to my dancer path. It's hurt our friendship more than help us. Should I have given up, too?

“I don't know, Kihyun. I just don't know.”

_We were sixteen with stars on our cheeks_

“You lost your job and know you can't pay for your phone bill. They told you that they would specifically call all those who made it. Minhyuk it's almost been a month. They haven't called yet. Minhyuk you have to look at this objectively. If they can't call you they won't waste their time trying to reach you. What are you going to do? This is your last chance to achieve your dream, probably forever. It's been a long time since your last audition. What if you can't find another one?”

Kihyun was always the reasonable one out of us two. He gave up on trying to be a singer five years ago, because somewhere along the line he realized something. Even though I know that, I still believed in his voice. That's why, when I had a job, I saved up to take him out to karaoke bars. Someone would discover his talent—no, his **dream** —and take that chance on him. I was so happy when he met a pair of rappers who carried that same dream. It was slowly rebuilding that confidence I only got to hear occasionally when he took a shower. The only reason I kept going was for _him_. It was my idea to come to America with my best friend—I dragged Kihyun here in hopes we could achieve our dreams together. Then Kihyun gave up. It worked out for him; he's a shift lead, close to becoming an assistant manager at his job. He's right there. And I've gotten in the way several times. Should I just give up?

“I don't know.” I didn't hide the tears that were streaming down my face. What if this was my last opportunity? What if I lose out on my dream, too?

“Minhyuk, tomorrow I want you to go job shopping, alright? No sense in doing nothing while you wait.”

I just nodded.

Later that night, me and Kihyun are lying in bed. We decided that sharing a bed, while no longer acceptable since we're both twenty-six, saved money. I laid there, not being able to sleep. I looked at Kihyun, who had already fallen asleep a while ago. He'd have to wake up soon; his clock on his side of the bed was always right. I've been dying to ask him if his dream had truly turned into ash. Or if, along with his boyfriend and other friend, and myself, we could push him to achieve it. But I don't think he'd appreciate me waking him up for something like that.

I can't help but believe I've failed him. We came here to become somebodies. To reach the unreachable. Had I not been a supportive enough friend to push him? Have him reach the stars and become renowned for his voice? Was I bringing him down just by existing?

“Kihyun…” I whispered. He was a light sleeper and I didn't want to wake him before his shift. “It's been ten years since we got here. Five years ago you dropped your dream. I know we've had argument after argument over that. You told me once and for all that you gave up, and that you knew it was the right thing to do. But you'd support me no matter what, that you'd let me try to reach for the far away stars. That you always believed I could. Kihyun I never gave up on you. And I never will. It killed me to see that light in your eyes fade away. But I know it's still there. I see it sometimes when you're with your boyfriend. He always gives you such a strong hope that you'll make something of yourself one day. And I see you truly do love him.

“Kihyun he's not the only one who believes that. When I finally make it, because I'm not going to give up yet, I'm going to pay you back for everything. You didn't have to come out to America with me. We were best friends and you trusted me. But now ten years have gone by. But I don't regret a damn moment of it. There is not a single person on this planet I'd rather have gone through this than you. I want us to always remain friends. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I love you.” I felt a tear run over my nose. “You've always believed in me. Always. It's never wavered, ever. Even when I hurt my knee you were there, pushing me forward. In the end even if you decide you'd prefer to bury your dream, I'm going to continue on for you. I owe you that and so much more.” I slowly reach under the covers for his hand and I entwine his pinkie with my own. I can already feel him waking up. There's three minutes before he has to get up. “I promise I'll make it. For you who always believed in me.” I close my eyes tightly and hold his hand.

He fully stirs and I can feel him move his hand. But instead of breaking the hold he holds my hand tighter. He probably thinks I'm asleep. But he continues to hold my hand, and never in my life have I wanted to cry so hard. His alarm goes off, but he doesn't get out of bed. He shuts it off. He lays there for at least a minute, holding my hand. I want to open my eyes, but I fear that if I do it'll ruin the moment.

“You'll do fine Minhyuk. I'll be here for you.” He gives my hand a squeeze and gives my forehead a kiss. I want to burst out in joy but I hold it in. He gently releases the hold, and goes to start his day.

While he's in the shower I manage to cry myself to sleep.

♪

An alarm blares and I jump out of my skin, already managing to be partially awake. I turn over and slam down the alarm clocks’ button, and close my eyes again. But then I remember the impactful conversation I had with Kihyun yesterday. He wants me to go job shopping today. And I wasn't going to disappoint him. Never again.

I open my eyes and throw off the covers, peering down at my nightstand. There's a note there. I pick it up and read it.

_Dear puppy,_  
Go look for a job, lazy bones. Or else no homemade kimchi for you!  
Love, Kihyun  
PS I made breakfast for you. Don't starve yourself like the first year we got here. You imbecile :) 

“Love you too, Kihyun,” I said to myself. I had the most amazing person on my side, even if sometimes I couldn't tolerate him. I left the note on the nightstand and got ready for my day.

I decided a shower was the best way to start this day. Secondly I got dressed. Thirdly, I left our apartment (locked it of course; we have very little to steal but then again, you never know with people). Lastly, I walked around the area for available jobs.

I found at least three places that used physical applications, and everyone else had online ones. I filled out all of them to the best of my ability, always using Kihyun as my number one reference. He isn't my family after all, and he knows I do work hard. Besides I don't trust ANYONE like I trust Kihyun.

After writing down things I had to remember I had a hell of a time trying to find a library. I had to go all the way downtown in order to find one. Once there I filled out every application I could, aside from this one where I needed a car. I did not have one, but I did have my license. Maybe I'd buy one once my source of income was stable. Preferably a black one.

By the time I was done I only had four minutes left. I decided to hit up some social media and connect with some of my friends including Changkyun and Jooheon, Kihyun's boyfriend; as well as Shownu (who just HAD to tell me he made it in, along with Wonho and Sam). I asked him for both of their numbers, despite having no service. I programmed them into my phone anyway. I'd be able to text or call them both soon anyway. I couldn't continue my conversations because my time was up, but I felt better.

It was late, and I know from my conversation with Jooheon he was with Kihyun. I didn't want to interrupt, I decided to stay out. Since my gym membership was still active (I rarely worked out, but I did lots of practices here), I practiced random routines from musical groups from back home and from artists I loved here. When it got real dark I decided that heading back was a smart option.

I got home, and Kihyun was by himself. I asked him how his date went, and he gave me a quick rundown. He seemed jittery though, which told me he wasn't telling me the whole thing. I just asked him if they banged, because Kihyun can always tell me the truth. Of course, he gushed and blushed over that suggestion, which told me they did something. I didn't feel safe sitting on any of our furniture.

Again I hold Kihyun's hand tonight. He's fast asleep, and in the end that rubs off on me and I'm asleep as well. I remember the promise I made the night prior, and I quietly repeat it. In my heart it feels right.

♪

I don't know what time it is when a force is slamming into my side. “Ow? Ow!” I say, turning my head to see Kihyun giving me a wild look. “The fuck?”

“Get up! Get up! I just drove back from work citing an emergency because Shownu just texted me saying that all those who participated in the auditions are to return to that location today because he couldn't reach you!”

I shoot up from the bed. “WHAT?!”

“Get up!” He repeats. “You need to return to that place because you've been called back!”

“WHAT?!”

“You heard me! Get your shit and go!” Kihyun pulled me off the bed roughly, and threw some clothes at me. “Hurry up and change! No time to shower! I'll drive!” With that he's jiggling out the door, his keys still in his hands. I get dressed quickly, and albeit sloppily, but they're fresh from the dryer. Kihyun must have started laundry before he left. I grab my bag, still full of my practice clothing, and rush out the bedroom door. I hurriedly shove my feet in my shoes, deciding to fix them in the car.

“Are you ready?” Kihyun asks me. He's jumpy to the nth degree. His excitement is overflowing. My heart begins to race.

I grab my bag and stand, already heading for the door. “Yes, I'll lock the door you head out and get the car started.”

Kihyun rushes past me. “Bad boy's still running!” He's sprinting full speed until he's gone. I genuinely didn't know he was that speedy…

The door's locked and I haul ass to catch up with him, taking the steps one at a time in case my knee decides now would be a good time to fuck with me. I can hear the thapping my feet make against the floor when I reach the final landing of the staircase. I see several people by the exit doors, and I squeeze my way past them trying to be as polite as possible. They don't seem to mind but currently even if they did I don't think I'd care.

I see Kihyun's beat-up old but reliable Sonata, hopping in and doing all the safety checks. I nearly choke as Kihyun plunges the car into reverse and attempts to speed his way out of the apartment parking complex. I shake off the sudden pain and fix my shoes, tying them tight so they don't pop off if we do dances.

I'm only just sat back when something is thrown into my lap. “You either give me directions or you type in where we're going into Maps.”

I don't respond; I just type in 15514 Queen Street. Next to it a red marker notes the bakery next door. I start the navigation system. From where we are it's only a ten minute drive, and that's the app telling me that including traffic. If only it were that short of a walk.

The entire ride there my leg is bouncing like a ping-pong paddle ball, the thunk against the car's floorboards rhythmic. I'm so focused on watching the people and cars and the street names whiz by. Thinking about what Shownu's text was. I can't remember what Kihyun specified, but whatever it was had to be important. Was everyone called back? Or just the select few?

My brain held onto its out-of-body experience until I noticed Kihyun slowing. Across the street was the place, along with the cheery bakery. Together they seemed so mismatched, one foreboding and telling while the other so happy-go-lucky. “Minhyuk.” I turned to Kihyun. His face was dead set and serious. I can actually see his hands shaking, tiny tremors making his fingers twitch. “Work your ass off in there.”

I hold back the tears but somehow one escapes. I reach out and hold his hand that's latched itself onto the steering wheel. I squeeze. “Thank you.”

He holds my stare with precision; his eyes never waver. He simply nods, then finds the courage to push me out through the passenger door. I barely have time to open it before I'm halfway out.

I pause only for a brief second. I turn and pounce on him, giving Kihyun the biggest hug I could muster. Before he knows what hits him I'm out the car and sprinting across the street, bag in tow and panic right beside it. I have a nice brief hello with the same goth girl as before, and thankfully she recognizes me and shoos me up the stairs. I don't know what possessed me to take the stairs and not the elevator but I'm at the second floor bursting through the door. I rush to the same practice room from before, and the same guards are there. They stop me only shortly, checking my ID once again. They seem satisfied that I'm the same person (I don't feel like the same person) and allow me entrance to what decides my fate.

God Kihyun's gonna flip when I tell him I've seen Carlata TWICE. “Hey, blonde boy! Get in line, show's about to start.”

I nod, still awestruck by how pretty she was in person. It doesn't last long because I search for Shownu. I see him, along with Wonho and Sam, looking at me. Shownu gives me a thumbs up, and I bow to him; greatful our friendship came from me wanting to get to know him. I take my place, choking back tears. This was it.

“Hmm…” Carlata starts. “We're missing some people. Ah, well. You snooze, you lose.” I was gonna shove it in Kihyun's face that Carlata's accent was thicker than ours. “Anyway, I know you're wondering why you're here, because I told you last time only those who would be called were allowed to come back. Congrats, you guys. You're my chosen backup dancers.”

♪

My back felt the cool wood as I leaned against it. The reprieve from the heat of the practice room was a blessing against my spine. I huffed out a lot of breath, going over the dance moves we were practicing. I felt like I'd been blessed, by a fellow foreigner to the large country of America.

But not as much of a blessing as was making it, _finally making it_ , as a dancer.

“That's all for today. Practice went so smooth like all of you had been a team for ages. Hopefully Carlata likes this routine.” Our main coach drank deeply from his water bottle, just as thirsty as the rest of us. It took a second for me to realize that I wasn't against the wall, but on the floor. I still cheered with the rest of the squad.

_When life wears its best,_

“You've been doing pretty good Minhyuk!” Wonho said as he came up to me, sitting down to my left.

“I don't see why I wouldn't be doing good…?” He had to be teasing me.

“You told me about your knee injury? A couple weeks back?” He says, more like he's questioning what he heard rather than what I said.

“Oh, I did tell you about that. I've been wearing a brace.” I sit up off the floor and pull my pant leg up, showing exactly what I was talking about. It was mostly black with some green accents. I've grown out of it a bit, and that made it tight; but it made for a very nice brace. Plus, I couldn't buy a new one. Yet.

Wonho puts his hand on my knee. “Do you want me to help take it off? It must be stressing your leg out to be wearing it so often. Or maybe it's leaving marks. It looks like it's too tight on you.”

“That's not the only thing you can take off.”

“What?” Wonho questions as he looks at me.

“Yes, I'd like it if you helped me take it off.”

“That's not what you sai—”

“Hey, dudes. What's wrong with your leg Ed?” Sam asked as he plopped down to my right. He's been worrying me with how much weight he's been losing.

“Have you been eating properly?” I prod.

He grunts unhappily. “Yes, Christ, I have been. You and Dave need to stop pestering me. I'm telling you I have a very high metabolism.”

“You've been losing a lot of weight recently, though,” Wonho pitches in, still holding my knee. “We all worry about you.”

“Okay, I admit I haven't been eating as much as I should. Nerves I guess. But I'm not, like, I don't have an eating disorder. Don't panic, I swear on my mom's grave,” he says as he crosses his heart.

“Maybe you'd like to come with me and my friend tonight?” I ask. “Us, his boyfriend, his partner, and possibly Shownu are going out tonight. We're eating and then probably drinking and we need designated driver.”

“Fuck, really? I'm of age, can't Wonho be the designated driver?” Sam whined.

“He's not go—”

“Yeah, I don't mind! I'd love to hang out!” His smile was all gums and bright.

Honestly it sickened me. Damn, my plan's been foiled. **Again**. _By the same person_. “That's great.”

“Cameron! Get over here!” Another one of the group yelled.

“Yeah be right there! Bye guys. When's the party?” Wonho asked me.

“I'll text you when I know,” I said. I watched him give me a thumbs up and head over to some others who were, I cannot believe this, bench pressing each other.

“You have my number and his right?” Sam asked.

I turned toward him. “Hey, Sam, I gotta ask a favor.”

“Uh, yeah. Shoot, I guess.”

“I need you to switch places with Cam.” He looked at me like he hadn't understood me. Damn, did I ask him in Korean when the poor sap doesn't even know that's where I was born?

“You mean, being the driver?”

“Yes! Glad I didn't ask you in another language.”

“Why?”

I gave him my most serious expression. “You know I'm gay, right?”

His head tilted a little. “Yeeeah.” I could tell he was suspicious.

“You see, I'm trying to get Cam drunk so he'll fuck me.”

Sam spitters out in laughter. “Dude, he’s a bottom, not a top. You're outta luck.”

So THAT'S it. I knew it. Instead of immediately correcting him I put my hand on his thigh. “Oh, baby; you seem to have me mixed up.” I slink my hand up his thigh until he stops me.

“Right, right. Okay. I get it. Not a bottom. Fine, count me in.” He gently drops my hand to my lap.

“Next time don't just assume, k babe?” I wink at him.

He rolls his eyes. “Do you have either of our numbers?”

♪

I hope into Kihyun's car (in the back; what a sham!) while he and his boyfriend of almost four years hold hands up front. Me and Changkyun share the backseat while we drive to our first target: a nice restaurant. In order to celebrate both Kihyun's becoming manager and my finally achieving my dreams. Plus, a karaoke bar because I refuse to go out if Kihyun doesn't do some singing (I have in fact been left at home because of said fact).

Meanwhile, Shownu will be picking up Sam along with Wonho and his straight af housemate Hyungwon (who will be bringing along his girlfriend). Poor Wonho, surrounded by straight men he can't have.

That's where I come in.

I've already convinced Sam to trade places with Wonho, and Wonho and Sam have already discussed it without me. Sam texted Kihyun who then briefed me on their agreement. Wonho would be commandeering his and Hyungwon's apartment, Hyungwon would be with his girlfriend, Kihyun would never leave Jooheon's side even if you paid him (same for Jooheon), Changkyun would be sticking with Shownu and Sam, and I will be fucking Wonho and I'll be DAMNED if my plans get foiled again.

“I swear, if I have to drunk drive again I'm gonna sue every single one of you,” Kihyun complained from the front. “I almost wrecked my poor Sonata.”

“We're not gonna make you drunk drive again Kihyun, we swear,” Jooheon says, squeezing his hand tightly. “I shouldn't have gotten so turnt.”

“I was the only sober person but I was three shots and a beer down when everyone realized we had NO designated driver.”

“Are you still going on about that?” I whined.

“YES BECAUSE DRUNK DRIVING IS BAD AND AGAINST THE LAW.”

“Don't worry hyung, me and Shownu will stay sober,” Changkyun piped up from the back.

“That makes me feel WORSE. Shownu-hyung can't drive a straight line without glasses and you only got your license like last week.”

“UM, NO! I got my license last year!” Changkyun snipped.

“You drive like a sixteen year old,” Jooheon chimed in.

“Hey I—”

“A DRUNK sixteen year old,” I snickered.

“GUYS. Don't make me turn this car around!” Kihyun spoke above the rest of us.

“Yes, mom,” Jooheon said cutely.

“Don't say that, Jooheon-ah.”

“Would me calling you mommy make you feel better?” Jooheon asked as he ran his hand up Kihyun's arm.

“Jooheon not—”

“Woah, woah, since when did you have a mommy kink Kihyun?”

“I DO NOT—”

“Hey look a completely non-fetish restaurant that we are supposed to be non-fetish eating at at a relatively non-fetish hour with our non-fetish friends let me get out of this non-fetish car and into this even more non-fetish restaurant.” Changkyun popped the door handle open.

“WOAH WAIT A MINUTE TIL I PARK MY BABY YOU RUNT OF THE LITTER!” Kihyun panicked and swerved into a parking space midway from the entrance. Changkyun swung open the door immediately and closed it, already heading toward the entrance without the rest of us. I was absolutely cackling as I exited the car, loving our baby's way of exiting an awkward scenario.

The lovebirds weren't far behind. “Changkyun-ah makes things interesting I guess,” Jooheon said.

“Yeah, if you consider almost making me crash into other cars interesting,” Kihyun groaned.

I could hear them kiss, and decide to let them have this moment. I race to Changkyun who's already under the awning of the building. He's cuddled himself into his jacket, looking at me suspiciously. “Where's the lovebirds?”

“Um—” I start as I turn around. “They were right behind me.”

“You know what, I don't want to know,” Changkyun says suddenly with a strong shiver. I chuckle at him. It really is like those two to not be able to keep their hands off of one another.

I search around the parking lot and see Sam's car pull up a small bit away from us. He only has a two door car, make and model I haven't cared enough to pinpoint. A woman, who is obviously Hyungwon's girlfriend, carefully exits the passenger seat. She helps tilt the seat and like a damn clown car they all scramble out and stretch their legs. Wonho, like an absolute gentleman, allows everyone to go before him. His arms bulge as he stretches, chatting with his rather handsome (but straight) housemate. I look back toward Kihyun's car, but I still don't see the lovebirds. I could only imagine who's going down on who.

“Hey, Changkyun-ah,” Shownu says as he greets his junior. “I haven't seen you. How have you been?”

“Great, hyung. You?” I chuckle at his introvertedness.

Everyone joins in the greeting, with Sam asking us to not use Korean because he doesn't understand it. Hyungwon's girlfriend, both of whom I've only met twice, tells him he should learn Korean so he's not left out (she's Korean-American). But, in Korean. I fucking lost my shit and nearly fell on the wet concrete. Hyungwon smacked me on the arm.

Somewhere during my laugh attack the lovebirds came back, looking awfully like I suspected they would. Kihyun was all over Jooheon's shoulder, face flushed deeper than Jooheon's (so he totally sucked dick, good to know. Doesn't surprise me any). But I tried to say something, getting distracted by Jooheon's mouth. “Hey Joohoney-ah you have something on your lips.” I went to wipe it off but Kihyun stopped me by kissing his boyfriend.

Jooheon wiggled his eyebrows at Kihyun, which in turn he tucked his smoll head at the crook of his neck. Okay so maybe I was wrong.

“Let's get inside before our reservation gets cancelled,” Wonho states softly, pointing to the restaurant.

“Yes, I agree!” I yell enthusiastically.

♪

Kihyun and Jooheon head up to the stage, the couple before them handing them the karaoke mics. They chat shortly before facing the karaoke machine. I watch them shuffle through a selection of songs, huddling close together as they do so. I can hear some girl go “oh he's cute” and another respond “bitch he's gay”. I coughed to cover up my laugh at the girl's next words.

“You don't know that!”

“Girl. They both look like they've sucked some major dick in their life.”

“Hey, she’s into Asian men. Cut her some slack.”

“Gay Asian men, apparently.”

I chuckle as I listen in to their conversation. American women were way more accepting about sexuality than some of the Korean women I tried being friends with. But, I had to admit: Kihyun and Jooheon were a picturesque couple. The love they had in their eyes was so obvious and heartwrenching it almost changed my stance on being in a relationship. But, I wasn't interested in a relationship. I just wanted the goods that came with it.

I wave my arms in the air as the song starts. I know this song so well, and while I hated it because of how much Kihyun played, I know this song meant something to them. I recall him telling me the day he fell in love with Jooheon this song was playing, and since he heard it it's been the song that always reminds him of his boyfriend. Whenever this song came on shuffle he sang along to it, proudly proclaiming his love for the other. I've only seen him perform it once and that was in a studio. They let me into a sacred space for them, a sacred space for a shared interest, no; a common dream. It's a big step to sing this song they made in front of an audience, but as the song went on, they both put their hearts and souls into it.

I'm never going forget Kihyun's dream. Of being known for his wonderful voice. And I'll never give up until I repay him for helping me achieve mine. “I swear Kihyun,” I say quietly. Before I know it the song is over and we're all clapping. Some people were whistling. Up on stage it looks like they belong.

They're walking off stage when I feel someone sit in the chair next to me. “You're crying Minhyuk.”

I turn to see Wonho sitting next to me. I wipe my cheek, and sure enough, tears have escaped. I thought I fought the urge and won but apparently not. “Sorry. I'm not sad or anything. I'm just so moved at their performance…” I lead off by watching the lovebirds take their seats, heads together and smiles so wide I was worried they'd get stuck like that. Their relationship was beautiful. Maybe one day I might have something like that? Or was I determined to not be in a relationship?

“I guess you missed out huh?” Wonho asked. I faced him, question marks probably littering my face. “Jooheon-ah took him from you. Kihyun-ah.” He took a sip of his drink. “Or maybe the other way around?” He gave me a side eye look.

“What? No, does it seem like that?” I asked, using a napkin to wipe the remainder of my tears away.

“Yeah. It seems like you're jealous of their relationship. To me it's like you wanted to date one of them and missed your shot.”

“Pffffft, no!” I laugh and can feel the weirdness of his statement in my gut. “I mean, yeah I'm jealous of their relationship but I think everyone is. They're wonderful together! Just look at them!” I turn his head and my own to look at said couple. They're still so lost in each other, even after three years of being together. “They were meant to be, Wonho. It's fate.” I turn back to him. “I'd never do anything to split them up! What kind of friend would I be? If anything, you're more jealous than me!”

“What? No! That's not me at all!” He emphatically shakes his head. “I'd love to be in a relationship like that.”

I give his hand a squeeze. “One day. But maybe for tonight you'd like something a little more… adventurous?” I stroke his knuckles softly.

But he moves his hand. He gives me a sad, almost pitiful expression. “Look, I know… well, you make it very obvious that you're gay. I know you are. But I'm… not a top. I'm a bottom. I'm sorry to make you think otherwise.” The awkward air of what he just said hits me like a truck.

So that is the problem! I figured as such. I chuckle, then drape my arm on the back of his chair. I lean into his ear, glad he doesn't pull away. “Is that what you think?” I ask deeply.

Wonho blushes and his facial expression goes from awkward to shocked. “Y… yes?”

I let my voice go as deep as it can, letting my lips graze the shell of his ear. “I'm a top, not a bottom.” I pull away, satisfied that the truth has finally gotten to my target. Plan successful.

“Wait, wait, you're a top? This whole time?” He seems genuinely surprised and that irks me. I don't give off that extreme of a bottom vibe, do I? Guess I'll have to show him what I mean. “Yes,” I respond.

I'm proud he doesn't waste any time. “So maybe… you'd like to come with me back to my place?”

Wonho was clingy and hasn't been taken care of properly by anyone he's been with prior. I've had to break him in several times before I could fuck him like I wanted to. He wasn't a virgin, which I was thankful for, because I wasn't patient enough for that.

♪

It was only a month before Carlata went on her second world tour, and me and the boys had been practicing like devils getting every detail correct. We were finally getting down to stage practices, and each performance went smoothly like gears in a working clock. All of us were too busy with practicing to actually have time for anything or anyone else, and that month went by so fast it felt like only a few days. But the first date of the tour was upon us, and we were getting ready backstage, some of us praying, others stretching, and the last few making some very last minute calls for good luck. I was in the latter set.

“Kihyun… this is it. This is really it.” I placed nervously back and forth.

“I know, I know, but I've seen your moves. You will be fine! I believe in you!” Kihyun said enthusiastically. “Damn I wish I kept up with tour dates otherwise I could have bought tickets!”

“It's fine. It's good to know that I'll have you in my corner. Anyway, I have to go. Mandatory stretch time is upon us.”

“Break a leg Minhyuk!”

“THAT IS NOT HELPFUL I'M NOT TRYING TO END UP IN A CAST.”

“Haha goodbye you absolute mess!” Kihyun giggled.

“Goodbye, you engaged bastard!” I hung up before he could gush about his ring. I stuffed my phone (which I can pay for now, thank you) into my bag and gently tossed it with the rest of the bags over in the corner. I sped walked to the prep room, or whatever this room was called, and flopped on the floor. This really was it. No turning back.

A form sits next to me. “Hey I want to talk to you.”

“What's up Wonho?” I ask as I play with his thick thigh.

“I know it's a long way off, but… we're going to see each other after the tour is over, right?” He asks as he stretches to reach his toes.

_I saw us and happiness_

“Of course! I don't see why not.”

“Good. Good. Are you excited?”

“Yeah! It's going to be wild.”

If only back then I had recognized what he meant by “see each other after the tour.” I know this story would be different.

♪

As I promised, I saw Wonho after the tour. Of course, I saw him during the tour, as well. I saw every inch of him. Honestly I'm not sure if there's a spot on his body I haven't marked up in some way. I've fucked him in just about every position I can reach, in every spot his little freak heart desired. There were nights where he let me choke him til he orgasmed. Other nights I tied him up and left him struggling to cum for an hour or so. But there were a few where the sex was lazy, holding him close as we climaxed at the same time. It was normally after practice, mostly at night, and we'd fall asleep like that (after a shower). I like those nights the most, because while it simulated what it would be like to be in a relationship, it made me realize that's not what I want. I didn't want a relationship. I was happy with, basically, a friends with benefits package.

Wonho, on the other hand, saw our relationship differently.

“What? You DON'T want to be in a relationship?” Wonho looked at me like I had just slapped him. And I guess metaphorically I did.

“Yeah. That's not something I'm looking for. I'm not interested in… well, a relationship. I just want the sex. And the occasional date. But I know I don't want to be tied down. I'm sorry Wonho.”

“So. You're rejecting me.” It wasn't a question.

“Yeah. I am. I'm sorr—” I didn't finish before he turned and left the room. I could hear him crying as he left.

_But for me, he's a fool and more_

♪

I watched him as he walked away. Wonho was probably still hurting from my rejection all those years ago. I was sure he hated me for “leading him on”. And I guess he has every right to. Life seemed darker without him I've noticed. He always gave me bunny smiles and always supported me. I was happy, though, just being friends with benefits. I knew I didn't want a relationship with anyone. I wasn't interested in that. But that didn't make the sun shine brighter. In fact I'm positive he stole the sun. It would explain why everything seems so dim.

_If I could find it out to be with you somehow  
I know sunshine would be finding me_

**Author's Note:**

> Ay KiHyuk best friendship.
> 
> I only got this done like two-three days ago (wasn't interested in writing early in the year - basically I didn't realize I was suffering from burnout) and was worried I wouldn't make it. Hell I was worried I wouldn't surpass 1500 words. But here we are! I'm glad that I've seen to have pushed past that burnout.


End file.
